From the feedback on my last pitch, I was surprised to see that some people were confused on what my business is. I feel like my second pitch was much clearer and more transparent than my first, so I am sort of perplexed by that. However, the feedback allows to be more precise in terms of describing my business. I do believe the format of the content in the pitch was logical and can be understood easily.
For the third pitch, I went into more precise detail about my business and its purpose. I do understand that it is a type of business that most people won’t understand due to its complexity and unpopular nature. I tried to be as clear as possible in my description of my business. Other than trying to be more transparent in the pitch, I kept most of the pitch similar to the two previous pitches.
Hello Brent, I can understand why people were confused on what your business was. The best way to make it clear is by writing down what you are going to say. I could tell that you were trying to say it off the top of your head, making you have a lot of ‘ums’ and ‘ands’ while you think. You are going to want to start off with a story that really paints the picture of what problem you are solving. Then you are going to present your idea (try using more excitement in your expressions and voice when you say this) in a concise and list-type manner. Lastly, you are going to want to present some statistics that back up your idea. I can tell that you are knowledgeable on the manner, but you just need to polish the speech itself. I hope this helps.
ReplyDeleteHey Brent,
ReplyDeleteI've been following your opportunity for a while because I'm interested in how it turns out, and I can honestly say that, though it is a complex idea, you did a much better job explaining it this time around than previous times. Not to say those were bad, you just really hit your stride this time around. One thing I can maybe say as a critique is that you should go into more detail on the benefits you offer (saving time, money, and jobs by doing your own inspections or petitioning for less examinations), rather than talk about how difficult it will be to get this business started.
That's really all I noticed, and it was right towards the end, so over all, great job! Great improvement.
Hello Brent,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your elevator pitch. I think that third times the charm and you have really nailed it down. I think that if this was an actual elevator pitch and I was the prospect, I would be very curious about your idea and would definitely follow up. I've been checking out your pitches since the beginning and I think that you've does an excellent job in all of them. The only thing that I believe you nailed is the confidence aspect which you seem to have perfected on this pitch. Great work!
Hey Brent,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your elevator pitch this time around. It really seemed that you had the main points ironed out along with some attention getters along the way. The feedback from the later pitched probably helped in perfecting the meat of the pitch but you yourself have also been able to show good confidence and good gestures which can only come from practice and hard work. Great job!